Jonah Lerher--Edge 286

Neuroscience has contributed so much in just a few decades to how we think about human nature and how we know ourselves. But how can we take that same rigor, which has made this research so valuable and, at the same time, make it a more realistic representation of what it's actually like to be a human. After all, we're a brain embedded in this larger set of structures.

You can call it culture, call it society, call it your family, call it your friend, call it whatever it is. It's the stuff that makes people sign onto their Facebook a thousand times a day. It's the reason Twitter exists. We have got all these systems now that really make us fully aware of just how important social interactions are to what it is to be human. The question is, how can we study that? Because that, in essence, is a huge part of what's actually driving these enzymatic pathways in your brain. What's triggering these syanaptic transmissions and these squirts of neurotransmitter back and forth is thoughts of other people, what other people say to us, interacting with the world at large.

The above is a quote from science writer Jonah Lerher, from his video which is in the most recent issue of Edge. I subscribe to Edge and TED and all sorts of other things which are designed to spread ideas. I like ideas. I often don't even have time to read or listen to all of the things I have access to, but maybe someday I will. (Tonight, we came home from Star Trek-the second time I have seen it-and Edge was in my mbox. It seemed to be a perfect segue from the future as imagined by Roddenberry and J.J. Abrahms to the future that is coming to us from real scientists in the 21st century.

Lerher wrote Proust was a Neuroscientist, which I read and enjoyed, because it pointed out how artists made discoveries about the brain that scientists took years to understand.

It's funny...I didn't facebook until this semester and just started twittering this week, so social networking has been on my mind. There is a dynamic, a tension, between devoting massive amounts of time to staying connected virtually and actually living in the environment in which you are located.

It also brings up questions about boundaries. When you can be connected 24/7 to friends and family, strangers and celebrities and they can reach out and touch you (virtually) at any time, the boundaries that allow us to be focused and in the moment are pretty damned flimsy.

People, IMHO, need boundaries...at least I need boundaries. It is hard enough to stay in the moment with them. Otherwise purple fish. [courtesy non-sequiters r us]

immigration

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):

"All the problems we face in the United States today," said comedian and presidential candidate Pat Paulsen, "can be traced to an unenlightened immigration policy on the part of the American Indian." With that as your inspiration, Pisces, I urge you to take inventory of your own "immigration policy." It's an excellent time to do so, astrologically speaking. Here are some questions to guide you. What influences do you allow to pour into your sphere? Are they beneficial for your long-term mental health? What people do you invite to share your resources? Do they bring out the best in you? Do you have smart boundaries that keep out the bad stuff and welcome in the good?

The above is my Free Will Astrology horoscope for the coming week. Right now I'm considering closing the border.

bless you, leo

Leo from Zen Habits said something very important in his blog today:

1. Forgive yourself. You aren’t perfect. No one is. Realize that beating yourself up will only make things worse. Take a few slow, deep breaths and let it go. Forgive yourself. And move on.

2. Realize that discipline is an illusion. While discipline is a common concept, it doesn’t actually exist. It’s not a thing you can actually do. Think about it: people say discipline is pushing yourself to do something you don’t want to do. But how do you do that? What skill is required? There isn’t a skill — it’s just forcing yourself to do something you don’t want to do. And that requires … some kind of motivation. Without motivation, you won’t be able to force yourself to do anything. So motivation is the key concept — and this is something that’s real, that you can actually learn how to do.

3. Focus on motivation. What’s your motivation for pursuing the goal or habit? How will you sustain the motivation when you struggle? Have very strong motivations for doing something, and write them down. Commit publicly. When things get tough, remind yourself of your motivation. Focus on it. It’ll pull you along — that’s more powerful than trying to focus on the push of discipline.

4. Make it easy. Discipline is tough because whatever the task or habit you’re trying to do is tough. Instead, make it easy. Remove barriers. Having a hard time exercising? Make it ridiculously easy, by only exercising for 5 minutes. What use is exercising for 5 minutes? You’re creating the habit, not getting yourself into shape overnight. The 5 minutes of exercise will have only a tiny impact on your health, but it makes exercise super easy. If you can do that 30 days in a row, you now have an exercise habit. Hate waking up early to go to the gym? Do it at home. Do it during lunch or after work.

5. Focus on enjoyment. It’s hard to push yourself — to have discipline — when you hate doing something. So find something enjoyable about the activity. If you don’t look forward to exercise, find some good music, or a workout partner who you can have a nice conversation with, or a peaceful setting in nature that is just beautiful. And focus on that enjoyable aspect. Hate doing your paperwork? Find a peaceful sanctuary where you can do the paperwork and enjoy yourself. Maybe have a nice cup of tea or coffee, play some nice music. And focus on the enjoyment.

6. Repeat. You’ll almost inevitably slip up sometime, no matter how good you are. Unfortunately, people often take this to mean they don’t have discipline, and they just beat themselves up and give up. Well, it’s just a bump in the road. Get up, dust yourself off, and get going again. Start from Step 1 and start all over.

Thanks, Leo

jezebel posts story on polyamory

The web news zine Jezebel posted an article with a slightly misleading title...the actual article is more about triads than poly, and the definition of triad is pretty limited.

The quote below comes from the article titled Threesome Marriages

While polyamory as a concept can encompass any number of partners, WPA is seeking legalization, at this point, only for triads. As distinct from the fraught Jules et Jim-style menage a trois of popular imagination, triads are about stability:

Unlike open marriages and the swinger days of the 1960s and 1970s, these unions are not about sex with multiple outside partners. Nor are they relationships where one person is involved with two others, who are not involved with each other, a la actress Tilda Swinton. That's closer to bigamy. Instead, triads-"triangular triads," to use precise polyamorous jargon-demand that all three parties have full relationships, including sexual, with each other.

The article actually gets better by page two. It talks more about relationships and commitment and practical ways to run a multiperson marriage although it still devoted most of the article to triads...
As a person who is in a long term, committed marriage of five people (soon to be six) I find this to be a slightly limited point of view. We have what could be called a variation on the Heinlein line marriage. My partner and legal spouse T and I have been together for 25 years and married for almost 22 years. Our third, S, joined us in 1996 and he and T consider themselves heterosexual life partners (much like Jay and Silent Bob. The three of us married C in 2001 and M in 2003.

(T has known M since he was an undergrad and I met S and C in alt.callahans.)

A week from tomorrow, K is coming to join our crazy group...she and T were high school sweethearts.

Being poly isn't about numbers and it isn't about sex. It's about love and commitment.

Also, people who don't know much about polyamory need to remember one important thing. There are as many flavors of polyamory as there are people who practice it.

to settle or continue peripatetic

From Jundo Cohen's blog, Tree Leaf Zen:

The way to settle the ripples in a vessel of agitated water is not by doing something ... not by patting down the ripples with our hand, not by blowing on them or trying to will them down ... but by doing nothing at all, allowing the waters to still and balance of their own accord.

The way to settle the ripples of thought and emotion of the mind is much the same ... not by doing something ... but by doing nothing at all with great focus, letting the mind still and balance of one's own accord by our very sitting still.

peripatetic (definition from Merriam Webster online)

Main Entry:

²peripatetic

Function:

adjective

Etymology:

Middle French & Latin; Middle French peripatetique, from Latin peripateticus, from Greek peripatētikos, from peripatein to walk up and down, discourse while pacing (as did Aristotle), from peri- + patein to tread; akin to Sanskrit patha path — more at find

Date:

1566