is it 2010 yet?

I'm ready to skip from Samhain to New Year's day. No gatherings, no holidays, winter should be over (more or less)

Seriously...I said I was going to write every day, and I really don't want to whine, but I'm tired of being sick. I can't concentrate, can't read. My vision is screwed up my head and body feel like they have been run over by a mack truck. I'm letting down people at work...There must have been a lot more anger and poison in my soul than I thought. The other day when I talked about being angry must have reacted like like lancing a puss filled boil in my soul...

The fibroflare was more along the lines of a mini breakdown, but that left me open to the H1N1 that made Brad and Ann sick. It also got Richard. Don't know about Cliff and Kevin...Sean managed to throw it off. I tend to be a hypochondriac so I discounted the flare and the flu was fairly mild. I didn't want to take it to work so I stayed home...[My advice, if you get the flu, stay home.]

The kidney stones just added insult to injury. I have never hurt so bad in my entire life. Got to the ER at 9:14 and they started the surgery at approximately 4:30. The doctor put in two stents to help keep the white cells in my urine from infecting me further, but I ended up jostling them and LEAKED all night (as well as being in pain). Had the stents removed this afternoon and not I just have irritation, pain and other disgusting stff. I don't remember the anesthetic at all, but my throat feels like fly paper and my tongue is raw (back tooth that usually doesn't bother me has scraped my tongue until it feels like it is going to bleed. It hurts to swallow. I don't weven want chocolate. I may or may not be having trouble with my lungs, but my guess is pneumonia is next on the list because I have chest pain and I'm having trouble breathing.

To refer to the top of this post, I am still angry with my life and my self and I'm sure that is what is making me sick. Writing may be helping me like an antibiotic helps an infection...I don't know.

Two very lovely things though... My friends Doug and Heather got twin girls...they have wanted babies for a long time and they are good people. The other good news is not my news to tell, but it will be an improvement in a lot of ways.

I need to go to bed now.