a map, but not a mind map

Not a mind map, because even though I like the concept I can't draw and I have no spatial coordination, so the actual map part is not helpful, it is ugly and confused. Not analog, which is preferable, because I may or may not release it to the public, but analog isn't quite enough. I need hypertext (is hypertext like a mindmap?).

In any case, I am sitting here at my desk (although I prefer writing in coffee shops this is more practical because I'm drinking wine.) I also have dark chocolate m&m's, but haven't gotten that decadent yet. Also listening to itunes on shuffle.

This blog is called "journey of a kitten" because I have always felt like I was on a trip, "poor wayfaring stranger, surrender dorothy, watch out for that tesseract" and I have marked it off and on with journals like bread crumbs. I'm not going to carry that metaphor further. It's too precious, and that is one of the things I hate about myself...my metaphors are always too precious.

I have journals going all the way back to grade school (or at least high school...I don't know if I actually have the ones from junior high. We moved after I graduated from 8th grade, and I may have gotten rid of those.). Many of my old journals are boring, repetitive and obscure, because other people have read them in the past and I have gotten hurt because of it. That gave me major writer's block...particularly since I have always been fond of denying/discounting my feelings (and then, when my self governor blows a fuse, spewing out god awful crap that would be better left in the compost heap.)

Part of my problem is having a damaged language/memory center from my wreck (aphasia).

In any case, I have totally overloaded myself with brainstuff, and when I get too overloaded I blow a fuse. It makes me sick...so I take 4 or 5 days and hide...sleep 10-12 hours a day, read, watch tv...I don't work and I can barely stand to be around people. That is what happened to me last week, and I have been home from work for 4+ days now...

List of things that I have floating around in my environment at the moment:
twitter
ebooks
slow reading
library training and procedures
music
books and the people who recommend them
TED
Evernote
Zotero
blogs

And that is just off the top of my head. Is it any surprise that I am confused? I know just enough about most things to be dangerous and I collect things..."shiny" "cool" "wow" "wish i knew more about that" ad nauseum.

I have 8 (maybe more) library books stacked up...from The Outsiders and Paris in the 20th Century both recommended by @mikecane to By Love Possessed recommended by Roger Ebert (@ebertchicago).

I bought a copy of Slow Reading by John Miedema and I want to read it along with the new book he is blogging at I, Reader. But I don't know if I should do that first, or maybe go to the web and buy The Heroin Diaries Soundtrack, as recommended by @MoriahJovan. Maybe I should just go to the TED website and watch lectures in the name of self education. I'm interested in Technology, Entertainment, Design (for some value of interested.) I could do research on free books, which is the topic of the panel I am on at Windycon.

See? Maybe I ought to just roll a 6 sider or even a 20 sider and go with Fate. Or maybe I could just do a facebook, live journal, google reader, twitter thing and put off productive work for another day.