introspective ... yet boring

Eating blueberry muffins and drinking tea...listening to "mellow 70's sirius radio" and trying to figure out why I can't just say no when someone asks me how I feel about things...I don't know how I feel...even if I did I don't want anyone else to know how I feel. For all that I loved alt.callahans and I would hate to lose Live Journal (I still think facebook pretty much sucks) because I like to keep track of people...and I see the people I know and consider friends as family more than anything else...I'm not all that emotionally close to my biological family. The interwebz lets me be close to people at a distance.

Of course I bitch and moan when I want to do something with another human being and there isn't one nearby. I feel guilty because I'm not into togetherness and I hate feeling guilty. I have trouble communicating and I'm not even sure I want to fix it (although that is why I started biofeedback...it was supposed to make my brain and my personality and my health all better. I don't know if it is going to work or not.